Paris, the prison diaries
Paris Hilton, after attending Sunday's MTV Movie Awards, was then off to the Century Regional Detention Facility in Lynwood. She is expected to serve about 23 days for violating her probation stemming from an alcohol-related driving charge. "I hope that I'm an example to other young people," she told reporters.
DAY 1: Arrived late Sunday night. So tired. Asked if I could check into my room immediately. Quite possibly the rudest concierge I have ever met. I told him he was fired. Not the effect I'd hoped for. And no, I did not register under the name "Little Miss Whore." What kind of hotel forces you to strip and delouse (maybe Marriott?). Although instead of a robe I got a fabulous orange jumpsuit with a cute number on it. Nothing to do at night. I'm told (as there was, like, no information in my room) that there is no bar or lounge area. I wish I'd brought flats.
Day 2: My room is insane! TINY! How is it even possible that I got a room without any view? A tiny stainless steel toilet. There is an incredibly thin mattress. If I didn't know I was in prison I'd think I was in an Ian Schrager hotel.
Day 3: So that's what a bitch slap is. Wow. Just ... wow. MUST remember not to make that sarcastic face again anytime soon.
Day 5: Gandhi went to prison. So did Martin Luther King Jr. So did Robert Downey Jr. and Martha Stewart Jr. and I think Nelson Mandela Jr. Mandela was imprisoned for, like, 50 years or something for being black and also for driving an uninsured vehicle, if I'm reading Wikipedia correctly. Nicky often mentions me and Gandhi and how incredibly thin we both are and how she wonders if he used bronzer.
Day 5, shortly before lights out: Must remember not to complain about lights out. Hope mother can contact a good dentist, as the whistling from where the tooth is missing is embarrassing as well as annoying.
Several of us were talking after the movie tonight ("The Shawshank Redemption") and one gal posed a question to the group: Would you crawl to freedom through a sewer pipe, like Tim Robbins' character did? I would have answered "no" but was unfortunately bound and gagged (practical jokes are big in prison).
Day 7: Mail today. One piece. A small note from Nicky that was actually a Xerox of a text message that her assistant put a stamp on and mailed. She wrote, "Ya know that band from a long time ago, 10,000 Maniacs? There were only, like, five people in that band."
DAY 1: Arrived late Sunday night. So tired. Asked if I could check into my room immediately. Quite possibly the rudest concierge I have ever met. I told him he was fired. Not the effect I'd hoped for. And no, I did not register under the name "Little Miss Whore." What kind of hotel forces you to strip and delouse (maybe Marriott?). Although instead of a robe I got a fabulous orange jumpsuit with a cute number on it. Nothing to do at night. I'm told (as there was, like, no information in my room) that there is no bar or lounge area. I wish I'd brought flats.
Day 2: My room is insane! TINY! How is it even possible that I got a room without any view? A tiny stainless steel toilet. There is an incredibly thin mattress. If I didn't know I was in prison I'd think I was in an Ian Schrager hotel.
Day 3: So that's what a bitch slap is. Wow. Just ... wow. MUST remember not to make that sarcastic face again anytime soon.
Day 5: Gandhi went to prison. So did Martin Luther King Jr. So did Robert Downey Jr. and Martha Stewart Jr. and I think Nelson Mandela Jr. Mandela was imprisoned for, like, 50 years or something for being black and also for driving an uninsured vehicle, if I'm reading Wikipedia correctly. Nicky often mentions me and Gandhi and how incredibly thin we both are and how she wonders if he used bronzer.
Day 5, shortly before lights out: Must remember not to complain about lights out. Hope mother can contact a good dentist, as the whistling from where the tooth is missing is embarrassing as well as annoying.
Several of us were talking after the movie tonight ("The Shawshank Redemption") and one gal posed a question to the group: Would you crawl to freedom through a sewer pipe, like Tim Robbins' character did? I would have answered "no" but was unfortunately bound and gagged (practical jokes are big in prison).
Day 7: Mail today. One piece. A small note from Nicky that was actually a Xerox of a text message that her assistant put a stamp on and mailed. She wrote, "Ya know that band from a long time ago, 10,000 Maniacs? There were only, like, five people in that band."
